The Secret Lady
Posted by Dr. Vollmer on November 15, 2013
Lindsay, thirty-three, comes to therapy for years, sometimes twice a week, sometimes more, sometimes less, and yet, there is “so much I don’t know about her,” she tells me. “You have a lot of secrets, ” I say, knowing that she has a deep private life which she finds both tormenting and pleasurable. “Yes, I do. I don’t want to tell you,” she says defiantly, as if I demand that she tell me her private thoughts. “You need to keep things private because that gives you a sense of power,” I say, knowing that her private thoughts give her a sense of superiority over me. I imagine that her fantasy life gives her the power that she feels she lacks in her daily life. “Yes, I am in control with my thoughts,” she says, affirming my suspicions that the private ideas, for Lindsay, are associated with control. “So interesting, ” I say commenting on her style. “And I am not going to tell you,” she repeats.