Shirah Vollmer MD

The Musings of Dr. Vollmer

The Play Space: A Place To Be Thought About

Posted by Dr. Vollmer on September 7, 2012

Sherry https://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2012/09/04/mom-dies-appointments-missed-whats-up/ returns to her appointment, but showing up twenty minutes late. “I like that you think of me when I am not here” she says with deep conviction. “Yes, you know that I am waiting for you and that feels good,” I say, highlighting the importance of being ‘held’ in a mental space. Our appointments provide this ‘play space’ such that she can know that during this time, even if she is not physically there, her space is waiting for her. I am impressed that Sherry is in touch with her narcissistic, healthy, need to be part of my mental space. She feels she needs the connection, more than she needs the actual time with me. She can articulate this. Enough said.

4 Responses to “The Play Space: A Place To Be Thought About”

  1. Jon said

    You and Sherry are “taming” each other in the beautiful sense that Antonine de Saint Exupery discusses in his wonderful little masterpiece The Little Prince. Quoting just a bit from the dialogue of the Little Prince and the fox:

    “’What does it mean to “tame”?’”

    “’It is an act to often negated,’ said the fox. ‘It means to establish ties…’

    “’What must I do to tame you?’ asked the little prince?

    “’You must be very patient, replied the fox. First you will sit down at a little distance from me – like this – in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. Bur you will sit al little closer to me, every day…’

    “The next day the little prince came back.

    “’It would have been better to come back at the same hour,’ said the fox. ‘If for example, you come at four o’clock, then by three o’clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping aout. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to great you… One must observe the proper rites…’”

  2. Shelly said

    What do you make of Sherry’s arriving late to your appointments? The fact that she shows up at all is a good sign, however, by arriving tardy, it is a statement of some sorts too.

    • Shirah said

      Yes, indeed. The lateness speaks to her internal world and to her relationship with me. This is something for us to explore. Thanks.

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