Shirah Vollmer MD

The Musings of Dr. Vollmer

Archive for December 9th, 2011

‘I Have Had Enough Reality For Today’

Posted by Dr. Vollmer on December 9, 2011

   Dani, fifty-nine, is very sad about her relationship with her eighty-eight year old mom. “I don’t think she loves me,” Dani says tearfully. “Maybe that is true, ” I say, knowing the history of their relationship. “She is going to die,” Dani says, as if things have to get better before then. “Yes, she is in her sunset years, and yes, your relationship may never be what you hoped it would be,” I say, trying to help Dani come to grips with the reality that her fantasy relationship with her mom may never happen. “Of course, you are right” Dani tells me. “I just don’t want to hear it,” she says bluntly. After much discussion about her disappointment with her family of origin, she looked exhausted. “I have had enough reality for today,” she says with a humor that conveys how much she fights with herself to live in the world she wishes she had versus the world she knows she has. She captured that internal battle, which is amplified over this holiday season, so well. Reality can be tough.

Posted in Psychotherapy | 4 Comments »

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