Shirah Vollmer MD

The Musings of Dr. Vollmer

Archive for July 4th, 2010

Yearnings

Posted by Dr. Vollmer on July 4, 2010

  Monte yearned for Marla’s apology, https://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/06/18/were-breaking-up/, but that did not happen, leaving Monte distraught. Al yearned for Jay’s apology, https://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/more-betrayal/ and then felt relieved when he got it. Tom,  https://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/02/08/conditional-love/yearned for the love from his ex-girlfriend, but ultimately accepted the limitations of their relationship. 

      I began to think about yearnings, as Jessica, https://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/04/01/brain-fear/, yearning for my affection says, “I have to find another psychiatrist- friend.” “You mean in addition to me?” I ask. “Yes, I realize that you can’t be my friend, and I really want to have a friend like you, so I have to find one.” “What makes you say that?” I reply. “Well, you listen to me, but I don’t see you all the time, so I need someone else who can listen to me.” “Listening to you helps you understand yourself and it helps you feel comfortable with who you are, so I can understand that,” I reply.

       Yearnings, like instincts, help us understand what we need to survive and flourish. Our yearnings give us insight into what is missing in our lives. Psychotherapy reawakens latent yearnings, which when they come to the light of day, can sometimes feel frustrating, because of the limited time in therapy. Jessica, in her way, gave clarity to these feelings. Long-held wishes and dreams were activated, but then frustrated by the circumscribed nature of our interaction. Taking that energy associated with her frustration, Jessica began to search for other relationships which had the quality of “being listened to” which she realized that she missed so much in her life. Likewise, Monte needs to look at why he yearns for Marla’s apology. In so doing, Monte can begin to fill this need. Monte’s yearning, like hunger, is the signal. Making good relationship choices, like food choices, is the tricky part; the art of living well.

Posted in Doctor/Patient Relationship, Musings | 4 Comments »

The Kleenex Box-II

Posted by Dr. Vollmer on July 4, 2010

                              The tissues are for crying

https://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/03/31/the-kleenex-box/

Posted in Cartoons | Leave a Comment »

 
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