Dibs, forty-one, got a job, after not having one for five years. Not only that, he is doing something he loves and making more money than he did in his previous job. Dibs, needless to say, is very happy. “How do you think things came together for you?” I ask, wondering if he thinks it is related to our psychotherapy, which has spanned ten years, and three previous employers. “Well, I have been trying to get a job. I really wanted one. I think some people out there get lazy, but I never did. I mean I did sometimes, but I always bounced back and I stayed focused.” “I see your point,” I reply, thinking that he never stopped thinking about getting a job, and even though at times, that made him very depressed, it also reminded him that he needed to try every avenue to see if there were opportunities. I can see that although our work together might have helped to keep him focused, it is also true that he was very hard on himself, which in a way, was painful to watch, but in another way, kept him in the game. “My mom died when I was fifteen,” he chimes into my thinking about how amazing it is that he landed a really good job. “And you wish she could see how happy you are right now?” I ask, knowing that I am finishing his sentence, but also fairly certain as to why he mentioned the saddest part of his life. “Yes,” he starts to cry. “I will never get over it. When she died, I was a mess. I did not get out of bed. I did not go to school. I did not talk to my friends. I know what it is like to shut down. I am just glad that I did not shut down when I was looking for a job. Otherwise, I don’t know what would have happened to me.” Dibs says, with gratefulness to himself for being active and resourceful. “You wanted to make your mom proud,” I say, pointing out that maybe he stayed active because he knew that his mom had faith in him and he wanted to prove her right. Dibs become overwhelmingly sad. “Of course, I do,” Dibs says with deep feeling. “Well, she is proud of you,” I say, also with deep feeling and appreciation for these moments that Dibs and I are sharing together. “Yea, I know. I am also really proud of myself.” Dibs says, ending our session, as we began, with tremendous hopefulness and exuberance.
