Zach, http://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/i-dont-speak-to-my-mom-what-is-wrong-with-me/, http://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/07/10/no-gravity-anxiety/, http://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/04/14/prescription-drug-abuse/, leaves his appointment feeling bad that he does not speak to his mom. The next day, he calls me to tell me that he cannot make the appointment on Monday, but he will be seeing me in a “few hours.” I look at my calendar, confirming my thought that we do not have an appointment on Monday. I wonder. His appointment time comes and he does not come; he does not call. I wait five minutes, but I know he is never late. I wait another five minutes. Now, I am concerned. After fifteen minutes of waiting, I call him on his cell phone; I get his voicemail. Days go by, I still have not heard from Zach.
I have known Zach for ten years. Sometimes he is as reliable as a clock. Other times, he seems to evaporate from my atmosphere. Still, this is a new experience. My hunch is that it was so upsetting for him to talk about his mom, that he could not face another appointment. My hunch is also that this upsetting feeling which causes avoidance is unconscious, and as such, he will tell me that he got “caught up” with something and he lost track of time. I will of course, wonder why he did not call me, when he regained his sense of order. I will also wonder whether I should pose this obvious question to him, or whether I should let it be. I will want to pose my theory about his no-showing being connected to our difficult session, but as more time goes by, it will be harder to feel the heat of these moments. http://shirahvollmermd.wordpress.com/2010/02/10/avoidance/Avoidance works; temporarily.